When working with young people, we are often confronted with some difficult societal issues. As I have previously published, AEPi recognizes these issues and is working diligently to address them. We know that we will not solve all of society’s problems alone, but as it says in Pirke Avot, “You are not obligated to perform the task, but neither are you free to renounce it” (Pirke Avot 2:21). AEPi works tirelessly with our students and in a broader context on issues of drugs, alcohol, sexual assault, hazing and mental health; all the issues that plague the young adults we work with. Although the good work our undergraduates are doing far outweighs and overshadows these issues, I write about them often because, as CEO, it is my duty to address our challenges and communicate in the spirit of our fraternity… like an open book.
I want to discuss hazing specifically because this week is Hazing Prevention Week (September 25-29) and many of our colleagues on campus and in the fraternity world are using this week to raise awareness and openly discuss hazing. issue.
In addition to the week, September 17 was Gordie Bailey Day. Gordie was a member of a fraternity at the University of Colorado and died of hazing-related alcohol abuse early in the morning of September 17, 2004. His story is unfortunately all too common. Today, there are an estimated five deaths each year due to hazing in high school and college settings. That said, Gordie’s story is unique to me because when it happened, I was president of our AEPi chapter at the University of Colorado. Over the past 15 years, many students have heard me tell the story of Gordie Bailey and the impact of a brutal death on a campus, on a fraternity, and on a family. My alma mater’s fight song ends with the words “shoulder to shoulder, we will fight, fight, fight” and, to me, the words “shoulder to shoulder” embodied the spirit of unity that permeates the student body and former students. The idea that this could happen in my school, in my Greek community, the place where we are “shoulder to shoulder” with each other shook me to my core. In many ways, Gordie’s death was an event that set the course for the next 19 years of my life.
For many years, hazing has been accepted, even glorified, as part of our culture, particularly in fraternal life, athletics, and the military. Many of us have also experienced forms of hazing at summer camps or in our youth organizations. Others have heard stories from our fathers and grandfathers about the hazing they endured and perpetrated. AEPi wasn’t alone, but she wasn’t above it either. I often hear former AEPi students tell stories of hazing that occurred in the 1950s to the 2000s. We often look back on them with fondness or humor, but the world has changed and, in this case, for the better. The level of information available today about hazing is far greater than at any other time in our history. Today we know the risks and we also know the invisible scars of mental trauma that result from hazing and hazing others.
I am proud that AEPi takes hazing very seriously. I remember a meeting in 2018, shortly after Jim Fleischer (z”l) became CEO of AEPi, where he told his senior executives: “Despite our best efforts, I don’t think we can solve all the health and safety issues, but I think we can make AEPi 100% hazing free. We still occasionally find isolated places where hazing takes place, but we quickly intervene when we hear about it and also proactively educate that it has no place in our fraternity.
I remain concerned that many places where hazing is known are also places where educators, administrators, and community members turn a blind eye. Over the summer, a news story came out of Northwestern University. The school was found to knowingly allow hazing in its football program. Other sources indicate that it is widely known that hazing is pervasive in NU sports and clubs well beyond this program. The actions taken by the school only happened after the news broke and were – frankly – disingenuous. Northwestern has shown the world that hazing prevention is not a priority for them. Unfortunately, Northwestern is just one example. We all know that hazing happens in college and seems to happen openly, especially in college sports.
While I don’t claim to know everything about hazing prevention, we do know that no matter what anyone says, there are six steps that any organization or institution should follow. This is the minimum we should expect and no fraternity or institution should claim that it is unaware or incapable of following these steps.
- Stop any activity until it is known that it is safe to resume.
- Investigate quickly.
- Require a low burden of proof in order to take additional action.
- Take corrective action by terminating the perpetrators (removing them from your organization or school).
- Disqualify negligent leaders from continued leadership.
- Carry out educational action to re-educate spectators and victims.
AEPi takes each of these actions when we suspect or hear a credible report regarding hazing.
That said, intervention is the last resort. AEPi uses a multi-faceted approach in our fight against hazing and most of our efforts are proactive rather than reactive. Each member receives anti-hazing training as part of their aepi.edu new member online learning module. This module addresses many issues prevalent on campuses and gives basic information directly from AEPi on what is and is not acceptable in our fraternity context. Education continues with visits from regional staff, at regional retreats and conventions, and with chapter advisors.
Our regional directors also play an important role. They review new member training plans with each of their sections and emphasize the fact that AEPi training does not stop once a member is initiated. AEPi is a four-year learning experience that builds on itself and for those who continue to be involved, the learning continues throughout our lives. Once we contextualize the education of new members (we called it commitment) as something that is very limited to acquiring the knowledge one needs to become a brother; we can settle into the reality that this content can be taught in a short period of time.
AEPi also created a policy where chapters are incentivized to use a short three-week new member training period and even greater incentives for chapters that want to adopt a “no-commitment” experience. In this scenario, new members receive an “AEPi crash course” in the classroom. They learn how the organization works, our history and our values. They get to know the brothers a little more formally and then have the opportunity to decide whether they will initiate. This may seem like a foreign concept to many of us who have followed traditional commitments, but AEPi must embrace the future and the future will be one without commitment. Between Greek University Affairs offices developing new policies necessary for university recognition and our insurance companies’ continued evaluation of the policy and demand from fraternities to manage risk, it is highly likely that pledges will be prohibited. I suspect this will happen in the next ten years.
The data also supports the concept. AEPi has used data collected over the past several years to track the duration of new member programs (formerly “engagement programs”) against other indicators. Chapters with longer commitment periods have lower new member retention, lower overall member retention, and lower levels of participation in other programs. If the length of a pledging process is inversely related to these performance indicators, we should certainly re-examine its value.
We intend to do even more. This year, AEPi will become a member of hazingprevention.org. This organization pools resources to combat hazing through research, innovative programs and ongoing advocacy. Partnering with hazingprevention.org unequivocally states that AEPi sides with organizations and universities that believe this problem can be solved and will work toward it.
In the coming year, we will also ensure that Jewish students entering college are not predisposed to negative social behaviors. We will reorganize some of AEPi’s existing educational resources in a way that allows for their use by Jewish youth organizations and summer camps and will provide free access to these resources to all organizations that wish to use them.
Finally, the AEPi is asking for your help to fight against hazing. As I said earlier, many of us have heard stories from our fathers and grandfathers about the hazing they endured and perpetrated. I ask that we think about how these stories are received by our sons and change the way we tell them. Studies show that young men seek rituals that strengthen their emotional and behavioral autonomy. When role models glorify hazing, young men seek to replicate the experience. Stop joking about these experiences and tell the rest of the story. How did you feel at that moment? Do you think this has helped you become a better person? Did you feel obligated to impose these “traditions” on others?
Together we can honor the spirit of Hazing Prevention Week, remember Gordie Bailey, and eliminate hazing.
